Is this a passing phase of my life? Even if it is not, even if it becomes a permanent phase in my life, I am only too happy. Right now, yes I am happy about this phase. And that is what matters!

I know many of these experienced, ardent lovers of serious reading may not approve of this phase. Many may think I am immature, so what? Many may think I am silly, so what? Many may think I am being childish, so what? Still I am enjoying and that is what matters!

Sorry, you must be surprised or should I use the word perplexed, I think that explains your emotion in a better manner, yes you must be perplexed about the phase in my life, which I am talking about. Hope you too won’t take it as silly, even if you take it that way I will say, I am enjoying it and that is what matters!

Now I will come to the core matter. Nowadays I prefer children’s books,
I should say everything related to children’s books, the story, the narration, the characters, the scenario, the beginning,
the middle, the ending and don’t know what not, to the so called heavy adult literature. Now do you think I am being insane, I will say I am enjoying it and that is what matters!

Till some days back, I too used to delve deep in to each and every word of the heavy books to find out the hard truths, the hard facts of life, the hard realities of life and to make out the meanings and if possible create my own meaning for those words. Was I hoping to find a solution for the bitter realities of human life through my interpretations of whatever I was reading? If that was so I should say that it was an unsuccessful attempt. Now you must be really thinking that I am insane. Then I will say, I am enjoying it and that is what matters!

The classical, neo classical, modern, ultra modern, what ever genre of literature I was reading till recently, I should frankly admit that, the alternate thinking strands they couldn’t provide, these what should I say, baby books or kids books has taken me to travel through those strands. Whatever is your opinion, I am enjoying it and that as what matters!

I am thoroughly enjoying Moin and the monsters, I am thoroughly enjoying Fun at Devlok, I am thoroughly enjoying Wonder, I am thoroughly enjoying the stories of Micheal  Morpugo and all the simple’ colourful, illustrated books for children. I am happy about it, I am thoroughly enjoying this phase and that is what matters!

Anuradha Nayar

A man who is contended is always happy, I know. But what is the definition of being contented? Or else when is a man contented? I would say I feel contented when I am in a situation, which I really want to be in. That means, when I could be in a situation of my liking, or in a situation which I want to be in. Does it have any connection  with my ambition? I think so!
Ambition, that reminds me,do we need to teach our children not to be ambitious? If so, why? Is ambition a negative emotion? I have my own reservations about it. Of course I am not an advocate of being over ambitious. But I think being ambitious of one’s own life, career or future is not an undesirable thing. A boy or a girl has the right to be ambitious. I think as parents or teachers our responsibility is to make them aware of the boundaries of their ambitions rather than putting tight boundaries for their ambitions itself. Teach them the synonyms of satisfaction and why it is important to be satisfies with waht you achieve. How miserable they will be if they do not practise this at an early stage of their life. So I think in stead of telling your child not to be ambitious, tell them not to be insatiable in their wants and needs.Gauge them to achieve their quite natural ambitions,but guard them from the pains of insatiable desires.

Anuradha

When I started this blog, I wanted to comment on and discuss issues related to childhood. But today I somehow feel that I should deviate from that a little bit and write about some thing that is pricking me. It is more concerned with adults or the so called “grown ups’.
But no ! I think this is relevant for this blog as this issue also stems from or is concerned with proper parenting. And all the more when as a parent you are responsible to make or mar ninety percent of your child’s life whether he is a child, a boy, a teenager,
a professional, a husband, a wife or a father or a mother. If the foundation itself is faulty what right we have to lament about his or her attitude, ideas and ideologies?

As parents we are all trying to “magnificently prepare” our children, prepare them, to settle them down in life with a safe career and a comfortable family. But in truth aren’t they “magnificently  unprepared” to meet the challenges of life?  I sometimes feel that we have incredibly failed to create a world, a world, where our children can live in peace and happiness. We try to make great experts or professionals of them, but fail to nurture their emotional or psychological side, with the result that he/ she spend the rest of their life not knowing how to deal with their own frustrations, fears, desires, hurts, boredom, freedom, aggression and suffering.

For instance, we want our child to be happily settled with a family. Do you know it is a tremendous task for us, as parents to prepare our children for a happy and peaceful life. The main hindrance to their happiness is our own personal ideas, our own upbringing and our own possessiveness that our child is only our child, no one else. We are not ready to provide anybody else related to them other than ourselves, with any breathing space.

Usually we make the greatest mistake by side-lining this to the least important category in our list. But please observe your child’s development closely and with great attention and use the best opportunity to talk to him, talk to your child at the most appropriate time. We cannot mend the mistakes made by those who brought us up if they had made any and if the have affected us, but we can take a firm decision not to tamper with our child’s attitudes by not talking to him, not making him aware of these simple facts of life. We should keep in our mind that by not sensitising your child to these issues, you are knowingly or unknowingly tampering with the personality of another human being, another family, which, you have absolutely no right to do.

“A stitch in time saves nine”  a small self examination by you and a small conversation with your child will save three families- your own family, your child’s family and his companion’s family. Please do not hesitate- it is time !

You hear your child cry. You run to her. You see a tiny wound on her hand. You hold her tightly to your bosom. You feel sad that your child has hurt herself. You give a love filled sweet kiss on her wound and promise that it is going to be alright.

But where will you kiss, to heal the wound you have made in her tiny heart? Are you surprised, perplexed? Don’t think twice. You… only you are responsible for your child’s little disturbances. Because as a parent you are responsible for your child and your child’s emotions.Have you ever tried to understand the pangs of her heart, however small they seem to you? Have you ever tried to wipe out her silent tears, when she hears somebody calling her a darkie, a fatty, a useless thing, a good for nothing, a fighter cock? Do you think these are all trivial things? Think, think from her point of view. Yes, for you and me these are silly simple things. But for your child these are very serious issues which can change the very pattern of her life itself. At this stage her mind is just like a ball of soft clay. You can mould it into any beautiful shape or you can just leave it open to all the atrocoties of life and let it get dried to a lump or a mass with cracks. What is your choice? Yes it is your choice. Bring up a child. is what every parent do. But bringing up a child, retaining all the beauties of her mind, making her cherish each and every single moment of her childhood safely and preciously without any scar, is an oppurtunity that only blessed parents get. It needs real guts to bring up a child, and even more guts to bring her or him up to a beautiful individual. Snatch the opportunity to become a good parent, a good friend and a good guide to youe child at every given chance. Give her or him the freedom to point out that, “ No Mama you are wrong”. Give him/her the strong support from outside to fight and face the world with the strength from within. Give him/her a chance to open up, let the bud bloom in to a flower. Listen patiently to all silly nuances they need to share with you. Remember these so called silly nuances matter a lot to them. As they grow up and as they get ready to leave the safety and warmth of our wings give them a chance to reminicise their life with us, only with those happy moments shared with you. Love them unconditionally; give them a chance to love you unconditionally. For only unconditional love can purify and freshen each single cell in your body and your child’s body making an unconditional bondage between you and your precious treasure.