I am a mother of two, a son, eleven years old and a daughter, seven years old. Even when I immensely enjoy being a mother, a parent to my children, now I do realise the hassles involved in parenting. Now I understand that parenting means not just being a parent. It involves being a mother, a father, a guardian, a teacher, a confidante, a guide, a friend, sometimes a child and don’t know what not !
My little girl confronted me with a question yesterday. ” Amma, what does it mean ‘to care’?” Suddenly I realised that as an adult I am so familiar with the term’ to care’, but I have never asked myself this question . I know that I will not be able to give my girl an immediate explanation. I need to think, think about how to start explaining this to her or any child in a way he or she could comprehend. And I know as parents we all will be facing similar situations, sooner or later. And I think as parents it is always better to think together, to learn together and to grow up together, along with our children. We should learn with our children to see things as they are. To see things as they are, may seem to be simple, but trust me that is the most difficult task which needs a lot of de-conditioning and hard labour. Do not let the baggage of our experiences sink in to the child’s mind. This baggage of our experiences has actually created a screen between ourselves and our children, a screen of emotions, a screen of ideas, a screen of instructions, a screen of conventions, a screen of traditions and above all a screen of our adult ego. We are again making it opaque with a whole lot of explanations and theories. Try to unwrap this layer of our preconceived ideas and notions and help the child see that the screen between us and him is quite transparent.
It will help us to empathise with the child’s senses and emotions, once we are able to unload the burden of our emotions. Give them the freedom to ask questions, we will put our heads together and try to find some satisfactory explanations for them. Let’s try to travel with our children, walk, walk, walk and walk with our children in their pace, in their own tumbling manner, in a direction they lead us to, holding their tiny hands tightly, affectionately to let them feel that “Where ever you go, we are there with you, as a shadow and as a shade” and let them feel happy about it, confident about it.
Remember we too are growing up, growing up with our children.